


Dream

by cabbageboy



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst (a tiny bit), F/F, Heavy - Freeform, fluff (kind of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25541206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabbageboy/pseuds/cabbageboy
Summary: Horde Prime would replace Catra and say, “A beautiful wish, but there will be no future. Not for you.” She would leave this dream, the only one she’d ever truly wanted, and she would proceed to the Heart to die. She hung on a little longer than she perhaps should have, torturing herself with the vision of a future that would never be.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	Dream

Adora stared at her reflection in the waterfall, white dress flowing in the breeze from the open window. The glow of joy and magic and life that Etheria had radiated since the magic of the heart had been set free bathed the walls softly in peaches and ambers, refracting from the surface of her tiara in a delicate twinkle. It all felt like a dream; the glow, the peace, the warmth she felt in this moment. The thing that felt most like a dream was the deep, soothing breath she was able to take without the suffocating hands of failure and worry gripping her lungs. Her heart was, uncharacteristically, a gentle thrum in her chest, without the acceleration that came with worrying about her friends both on her side of the Rebellion and on the Horde’s side. The gentle chirping of birds and the smell of freshly trimmed grass floated around her. Her duty to save Etheria, to defeat the Horde and restore peace, and to protect those she held dearest was finally beginning to feel like the past instead of the present.

A commotion in the hall drew her attention, closing in on the bedroom. Bursting through the door was Catra, followed closely by Glimmer brandishing a hair brush. It was still impressive that Glimmer could make a hair brush seem like a threat, really. 

“Let me brush it!” Glimmer said in the same playful yet exasperated tone Adora recognized. It usually accompanied her particularly fashion related interactions with Catra.

“No!” The laughter in her voice became apparent as Catra circled Adora in a not-so-convincing attempt to escape and then continued, “Don’t let her touch me! She’s gonna torture me!” 

Glimmer, already knowing the answer, put her hands on her hips and asked, “Do you always have to be this dramatic?”

Adora’s eyes shifted between Glimmer and Catra, apprehension on her face as she took in the scene playing out around her. Something about this was familiar, too familiar. Yet she knew Catra and Glimmer’s relationship had been quite like this since the end of the war. Impish yet antagonizing was the best way to describe them. Still absorbing the interaction she was again taken by surprise when Bow entered the room after them.

“Come on guys! If we are late to Scorpia’s first ball she’s gonna kill us,” Bow spoke to the group, though his eyes softly fell to Glimmer as she folded herself into his side, his arm coming to wrap around her shoulders. 

Glimmer’s gaze softened as she peered up at Bow through her lashes before turning to Catra, “Fine, you’re off the hook! This time.”

Bow and Glimmer turned to saunter from the room, arms still wrapped around each other. Catra moved to follow them, but paused when she noticed that Adora remained rooted to her spot by the fountain. She turned back, brow raised in question until she saw the concern on Adora’s face. Catra’s eyes softened and her brows dipped down at the edges, lips spreading into an easy smile, giving Adora the same caring and love struck look that she had been giving her for years. Catra extended her hand, palm turned upward in a soft invitation for Adora to take it, and said, “You coming?”

The familiarity struck her again. Adora’s eyes widened as she stared forward at Catra’s hand, waiting for her to take the invitation she desperately wanted to accept. She recognized this part. This was the part when she reached out to finally take Catra’s hand the way she had always wanted to, but instead of soft fur and warmth was met with nothing, nothing but the sight of her hand glitching through it like the dream or vision or hallucination it was. Because she may have been Adora, but she would always be She-ra, and She-ra didn’t get to choose. She didn’t get a happily ever after. Even a dream as simple as Adora’s, where she got to finally live in peace and be herself with those who mattered most to her wasn’t meant to be a reality. She stared at Catra’s hand motionless, for a moment longer than usual, just to bask in the dream for a little longer before she accepted what would always be her reality. 

She hadn’t wanted to be She-ra at first. She had been curious about the sword. However, for a while, at least until the Horde’s attack on Thaymor, she had wanted to continue believing what she was always taught. She wanted to return to the Horde, to Catra and the life she had always known. She wanted to go back to what was comfortable and familiar. But it seemed fate had other plans for her and even now, knowing that the Horde was wrong, knowing that the Horde wasn’t saving Etheria but destroying it, she isn’t sure if she would have left so easily if the creepy voice inside the sword hadn’t convinced her of her destiny. After all, leaving the Horde and desperate for some semblance of familiarity and ritual, she did appreciate that the sword at least had the decency at first to tell her what to do. Following orders was what she was trained for so until she got the hang of the whole “She-ra” thing the comfort of following orders got her out of the Horde and into the Rebellion. 

But then, something miraculous happened. She found a new home. It didn’t replace the hole in her heart that was reserved for Catra, that much is sure, but it filled her need to belong somewhere. She became obsessed and absorbed with being She-ra because at least that meant she was finally strong enough to save people. She was finally powerful and strong and brave, nothing like Adora had been. Adora had been a child of the Horde, a soldier who was worthless on her own. But when she became She-ra she resembled so much more than her own individual strength. Her presence meant hope and that was worth more than the people of Etheria had experienced since Hordak’s arrival. The hopelessness she had always felt when she tried so hard to protect Catra from Shadow Weaver only to fail, was replaced by a newfound sense of worth that she had never felt before. She had wanted so desperately to share it with Catra, which is what made it so hard, but she had her side chosen for her, and Catra’s side in a way was chosen for her as well. Catra’s side was chosen by the years of abuse that kept her hopeless too. Her destiny as She-ra was bittersweet in that way. She finally had the strength to protect people, but that still didn’t help the one person she always wanted to protect. 

That destiny, the destiny of She-ra had become so entwined with her that when she thought of herself as just Adora she felt selfish. She felt selfish because she couldn’t be just Adora anymore, even though sometimes she wanted to. Adora had worldly attachments, and desires so deep they shook her to her very core. It was like Light Hope said, she had to let go. She had to be She-ra, she had to save the world, the universe even. No one else could. And she couldn’t, no matter what it did to her and what she had to give up, turn her back on the people who were relying on her to end this. 

Which is why she held on to this dream so desperately. She held onto the warmth she could swear she felt in the light summer breeze fluttering across her exposed skin and making her arms break out in goosebumps, not because there was a chill but just because of how much she swore she could feel. She grounded herself in the smell of flowers and grass, of the freshly laundered linens on her bed, the bed she shared with Catra. She focused her ears for a moment on the wind sweeping through the forest and rustling the leaves, whispers of birds chirping just beyond the walls of the palace. She anchored herself so desperately to the light and easy smile that hung itself lazily on Catra’s face. A smile that stunning deserved to be admired especially since she knew she would only ever get to see it in this dream. She took it in one last time; Catra, hand outstretched and welcoming her in, with her dashing gold trimmed dress pants and Adora’s pin on her shirt. She memorized every detail of the love of her life standing in front of her, looking at her as though she hung every individual star in the sky. And then, because she knew how this dream ended, prepared herself for the inevitable.

She smiled back at Catra, tears forming in her eyes as she slowly, cautiously extended her hand. She took another deep breath and managed to catch the smell of Catra’s shampoo before moving to lay her fingers gently against her lover’s outstretched palm. 

Her hand would glitch through it. Horde Prime would replace Catra and say, “A beautiful wish, but there will be no future. Not for you.” She would leave this dream, the only one she’d ever truly wanted, and she would proceed to the Heart to die. She hung on a little longer than she perhaps should have, torturing herself with the vision of a future that would never be. 

But her hand landed in Catra's. She blinked, slowly, as though to refresh the image her eyes had given her. When she opened them again, Catra was still there smiling at her. She took a deep, shaky breath and realized she was still there. She was still in their bedroom, with the windows open and the glow of magic hanging in the air, luminescent dots of pure energy floating around them, dancing to an unheard melody. She realized for the first time that she had this dream, that it wasn’t a dream at all. This was real. This was happening right now. This wasn’t her wildest desire playing tricks on her in the Heart as she was too weak to even open her eyes. This was reality. Adora realized for the first time since she blinked into the scene with all of its familiarity and bitter sweet peace and nostalgia that she was allowed to have this. She was allowed to choose this.

A single tear pooled over the edge of her eye and trailed down her face as the tightness in her chest eased up, and she allowed herself to feel the joy she had wanted for so long. 

Catra gently pulled her closer and placed a hand on Adora’s waist while the other brushed her cheek, tilting her face down so their foreheads could meet. Looking up into her lover's blue eyes she whispered, “Are you ok?”

Adora was finally able to respond, “Yes.”

Adora really and truly was more than what she could give to other people. She did deserve love too.

"I am just.... so happy. That I chose this, chose you."


End file.
